The Tyranny of Unforgiveness

Even if your brother wrongs you seven times a day, and seven times asks forgiveness, you must forgive him. Luke 17:4

 

I think the adage “Forgive and Forget” is untrue. Forgiveness is complicated. What if we truly desire to forgive, but are still experiencing the attached emotions—anger, hurt, etc.?

We can choose to forgive, but we need help, spiritual help, with the emotional part. We may never actually forget the incident, but we can experience resolution and peace following forgiveness.

The ancient wise person who said, “To err is human, but to forgive is divine” had it right.

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9 thoughts on “The Tyranny of Unforgiveness”

  1. I agree that to “forgive and forget” is not an easy thing for us to do, and may even be impossible, I also don’t believe it is biblical. We are commanded to forgive, and that is very biblical. We do not possess the ability to delete thoughts at will, but we can choose (with help from the Holy Spirit) not to dwell on them or hold a grudge because of them.

    It is also very important to remember that to “forgive and forget” is exactly what God does with our sins, which is one of the many attributes that set Him so far above us.

    As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
    Ps 103:12

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  2. If you don’t forgive you give yourself a burden to carry around. It is possible for someone to have something awful said or done to them and still forgive the transgressor but not like what was done or condone the actions or even continue the friendship. I think it is like giving yourself permission to move your on.

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  3. It’s such an important skill to learn and practice, and yet it is very difficult sometimes. I find it much harder to forgive when it involves my children. My momma bear instincts come out in full force, but even then I am only hurting myself if I am holding on to any anger.

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    1. Agree. When something unjust or hurtful happens to our kids, it is so much harder to take than if it happened to us. I cannot imagine raising kids without the comfort of knowing that we can trust the Lord.

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  4. I appreciate this reminder. It has taken me a lifetime to realize the great importance of forgiveness in its purest form. To forgive lifts us out of the mire and sets our feet on solid ground. However, we should not forget the lessons learned during the event that caused strife. We learn from our own actions and the actions of others. Perhaps we walk away with a simple understanding that we must accept another “as they are”. We are changed through our interactions. When we forgive, we are drawn into greater love for the other even if we decide we cannot continue to have a close relationship with the person. Wisdom is not set aside when we forgive.

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